I think that starting a new blog was therapeutic for me. I actually want to write consistently again. Maybe I’ll even start writing stories again soon. Maybe this post is a little too early for this blog, but it’s definitely worth posting.
I can honestly say that I’m still not sure if I’m okay with the idea of blogging so publicly. That’s not to say that blogging in any capacity has ever not been public, but there’s a difference between blogging behind a pseudonym and putting your real name out there. Before, I could say whatever I wanted, which was great because I lived by the belief that it was my blog and I didn’t have to answer to anyone about it. Now, it’s still my blog and I still don’t have to answer to anyone about it, but I can’t say everything I want and I can’t talk about all that I want to talk about.
Every action has a consequence, and all of mine could involve money. No one likes losing money.
What’s the point of free speech if I can’t curse when I’m ready? Maybe I don’t need to curse to express myself, but does it really have to affect my bank account if I do? And I hate the idea of selling ad space to make revenue, but they say that that’s how you get started. Is it stupid that I still don’t want to do it?
I don’t knock anyone who does these things, because ultimately these people all had the same idea that I did: they wanted to write about the things that interested them and get paid for it. I don’t blame them: 9 to 5 life isn’t the easiest place to find inspiration. Unless your blog is about 9 to 5 life.
I guess I just want to have the best of both worlds. I want the ability to claim my own blogs publicly, along with the ability to say whatever I wanted, curse words and all. Alas, ’tis not to be so.
I’ll get over it.
At some point.